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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND: Don is flying in tomorrow ME: My cousin Don or Amazing Hearing Don? [I get a text] Amazing Hearing Don"

"Did you hear about the Spanish Fire Brigade jose and hose b"

"I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through."

"I already have a car, but I want to have a DeLorean as well. ... ... I would drive my first car every day, and only drive the DeLorean from time to time."

"a local dj is beat up and left for dead, i guess you could say... the tables have been turned"

"What does the rapping shepard sing to his flock? Ewe, crank that soldier boy!"

"If you show me an Italian assembly line... I'll show you a well oiled machine."

"What does suicide and marriage have in common? (This one needs work...) Permanent solution to temporary problem."

"Yesterday I found out my girlfriend of 5 years has conditional gemder dysphoria She said she needed to be Frank with me"

"Roommate: hey blake I just bought this whiskey wanna explain why it's half empty? Me: cause you're a pessimist!"