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Joke of the Day

"I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through."

"When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head."

"I'd fuck around on my husband more but he gets jealous when I make sandwiches for other people."

"Is it offensive to refer to Egyptians as ""mummies""?"

"Bought some expensive neck cream. Directions say to apply it twice daily. If I slather it on every hour, I'll have the neck of a teen."

"The device will work much better, if you turn it on."

"What did the coach say to his star player after he pissed his pants? Hey man urine"

"He tells the punchline first. What's the worst thing about a time traveling comedian?"

"Dark jokes are like food. Not everyone gets it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !"