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Joke of the Day

"Wife has 5 hours to live Doctor: I am sorry, your wife is with us for only 5 more hours. Husband: No need to be sorry. I have survived 20 years of marriage.. what's 5 more hours!"

"Smokers are humans too Just not for so long"

"I'd rather have a bottle in-front-of-me ... than a frontal lobotomy."

"My nephew asked, ""What's the secret to a long life?"" I said, ""Never order vegetarian in Texas"""

"What did the judge say to the repeat sex offender at his arraignment? [Damn, Daniel - back at it again with the white van.](http://therealcape.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/white-van-png.jpg)"

"Did you hear about the blind man walking past the fishmonger's? ""Hello ladies"""

"What do you call a self proclaimed straight woman? A liar"

"when a skinny man goes diving what do you call it? skinny dipping"

"TIL Schweiger"

"Tape Recording for Beginners by Cass Ette"