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Joke of the Day

"Me: What's your dad do? Kid: My dad? He's an actor Me: Why? Couldn't you get a real dad?"

"If someone tells you there are 2 Ayers Rock... Don't be fooled it's uluru's."

"How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much? Because they built their stuff with reads!"

"What sea creature is the most self-centered? A shellfish"

"I was walking my dog when a man approached me. He said, ""My car's just broken down. Could you give me a push?"" ""Of course,"" I said. Then he fell into the bush."

"My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off."

"Wearing a wig is probably worth the hassle for those moments when you get to dramatically pull it off your weary, tearful head."

"The Internets recipe for Cream Pie is different than my Grandmothers"

"I won't sit back and let gay people marry. But I'll let big oil melt the icecaps because I believe in a lil' something called freedom. #tcot"

"What do authors do when they are being chased? They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!"