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Joke of the Day

"Me in HR: I wasn't trying to be condescending... It's just that the boss didn't understand and I thought the puppets might make it clearer."

"Why didn't the clam share his ipod? He was shellfish."

"Monica Blue Knock knock. Whos there? Monica Blue. Monica Blue who? Bill Clinton."

"A candle is my girlfriend... She is very hot"

"Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic."

"I want you to fu.. this rusty pipe . FTW ??"

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade."

"I have a talent for only attracting people I have no interest in dating."

"Reddit is really a green community Consisting all the recycled content on here."

"DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys"