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Joke of the Day

"*slips on a banamna peel* *lifts up banamna peel w/ end of pen* somone get the detective,. somwhere out there, theres a nude banana"

"From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys ""partying"""

"Snatch, twat, fanny, cunt, pussy, box, split-arse, and of course vagina. Just a few of the names I have given to my cats."

"Do they sell 2017 calendars by the month? Not sure I want to commit to a full year."

"What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)"

"Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do."

"Nothing sucks worse... than a shitty vacuum cleaner"

"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."

"The citizens of Twin Peaks became furious when they learned who killed Laura Palmer. They soon began to behave like a lynch mob."

"*At a clothing store* Worker: Do you need any help sir? Me: *Mixes ""No, I'm good"" & ""No, I'm just looking""* Me:""No, I'm just good looking"""