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Joke of the Day
"Nothing sucks worse... than a shitty vacuum cleaner"
Next Joke
"I once knew a Johnny Glasscock in elementary school... You could always see him coming..."
"Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't ""get"" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It."
"Chuck Norris Some people think the glass is half full. Some people think it is half empty. Chuck Norris sees scotch."
"""Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest"": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day"
"A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon."
"So a developer walks into a var ..that's all I got"
"Interviewer: says here you're a sniper Me [opening gun case]: affirmative Interviewer: is that a Supersoaker with a Pringles can taped to it"
"What star sign is a donut? It's a Taurus!"
"What's the opposite of progress? The president."