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Joke of the Day
"Do they sell 2017 calendars by the month? Not sure I want to commit to a full year."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to reheat the leftover turkey from last night's NYE dinner. I told her I quit hot food, cold turkey"
"Daughter yells ""I love bananas, the bigger the better"". Wife and I laugh hysterically, Then I die a little inside."
"I said to her: ""Two more inches and I'd be a king"" ""Two inches less and you'd be a queen"", she replied."
"What is the difference between joghurt and America? If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!"
"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. Riceless."
"A physicist came knocking on my door... I gave him the No-Bell Prize."
"I caught myself whistling the Unsolved Mysteries theme while hiding a body."
"NSFW? - Definition of a Period A period is a bloody waste of fucking time! (works in Australia, and probably England)"
"Why do witches have stiff joints ? They get broomatism !"