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Joke of the Day

"What's the resemblance between a bungeejump and a african whorehouse? If the rubber blows, you're dead"

"I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat."

"What was the allergic 2""X4""'s terrifying hallucination? He sawdust."

"What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey? A Thyme Lord."

"I had 4 cars been their horns at me this morning... It made it really hard to watch Netflix on my drive to work!"

"Why was the doctor in a hurry to move to the big city? He was running out of patients."

"My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush. So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'"

"what do you call chicken shawarma wrapped in a tortilla? A mosqueito."

"Riding with Uber earlier.. The driver said, ""I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn Left."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Andrew Jackson? One goes from black to white, the other goes from white to black."