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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of being a lesbian in 1912? Both got seats on the titanic's lifeboats."

"A friend asked me if every sentence has to include a vegetable I said not nessacelery"

"I don't have a drafts folder. My tweeting style is ""blender without the lid on""."

"[office] BUSINESS SNAKE: [dictating a letter] SECRETARY: [just hammering the S key]"

"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."

"Canada Post is under heavy DDoS attack. Somebody sent 2 letters at the same time."

"What do toys and boobs have in common? They're both made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them."

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"Reddit front page is so slow that it's showing posts from 30 years ago."

"What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy? Smelly beans!"