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Joke of the Day

"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."

"How did Jesus get so ripped? By doing Crossfit"

"What happens when the USSR gets back together? A Soviet Reunion."

"What am I? What has six tits and three teeth? The night shift at the Waffle House."

"Knock knock... Who's there?... Tank... Tank who?... You're welcome"

"ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*"

"A priest, a blonde, and an Irishman walk into a bar And all open this Reddit post comments to see who the real jokes are"

"...walks into a bar... A golfer, a priest and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""

"So I was talking to the devil, and I asked him about his job... He told me ""It's soul crushing and I love it."""

"I like sex. My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a boy or abortion."