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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I'm her 32nd lover Turns out what she really meant was I'm her thirty second lover"

"""This is not working out."" -My trainer, watching me work out"

"My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different."

"What do you call a puppy on its period in the peak of summer? A hot dog with ketchup at one end."

"(p + l)(a + n)=pa+pn+la+ln I just foiled your plan."

"I don't have a girlfriend.... I just know a few people who would get mad if I said that."

"What's your favorite word? 5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel."

"A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P"

"What is the most dangerous thing in america ? Ans: Nigger with a library card"

"So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet.. She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!"