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Joke of the Day

"Dude on tv just said, ""Where there's fat, there's flavor."" He was talking about food, but I took it as a compliment."

"Recycler's remorse Crushing coca cola cans is soda pressing."

"I didn't know about Reddit in college That's how I graduated"

"cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: ""the tigers should be your top priority"" cop: [scribbling out ducks] ""obviously"""

"If you're new to Twitter from Facebook, you can just reply ""Like"" to all of my tweets. I'll understand"

"Two prostitutes are discussing the hazards of their job One says, ""Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" ""No, but I've been slung around by the tits."""

"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"

"I asked a female moderator why I couldn't post images on r/jokes... ""I have a boyfriend!"""

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"A guy is with a hot girl and gets a boner Girl: Is that a weapon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Guy: Both, it's a weapon of ass destruction."