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Joke of the Day

"Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality than any other mammal. Well, that explains Edward."

"Girls are a lot like universities... I spend hours looking at them, only to realise I can't get into any of them."

"A warhorse walks into a bar... The barman says, ""why the long film?"""

"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."

"What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything."

"My friend is looking for a single, normal, well adjusted man. I told her to avoid twitter."

"Those luxury car ads with a sexy couple zigzagging through the hills should really end with the passenger puking on the side of the road."

"in the rental car today and my son said it was like we were in a ""rocket ship"" how many rocket ships have you been in. That's what I thought"

"I hold the U.S. indoor record for waiting in the house until my neighbors go back inside."

"How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks you have a girl ant but if it floats you have a buoyant."