205709

Joke of the Day

"I just saw a guy take a bite out of a kitkat without breaking it apart first. Listen sir, society has rules. Adhere to them please."

"Did youz guys hear about the blow job competition last night? It was nuts, the race was neck and neck till the very end!"

"The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone."

"""Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew"" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?"

"Sent my husband to work with leftovers from dinner last night. His co-workers are going to be so jealous of his bowl of cereal."

"Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making ? Dad: Why is that what are you making ? Pupil: Mistakes !"

"In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right"

"Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she."

"What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident."

"Needles What are dull needles good for? Nothing, they're pointless."