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Joke of the Day

"What did Mario tell his girlfriend when he broke up with her? ...It's not a you, it's a me, Mario!"

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand seeing a man have a good time."

"A man walks into a music store and asks the assistant ""I have really enjoyed Beethoven's Concerto. Have you got some of his earlier work, concertA to concertN?"""

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"

"Rap is 75% Crap."

"I was at the public swimming pool today and decided to have a sneaky piss in the deep end. The lifeguard must have noticed - he blew his whistle so fucking loud, I nearly fell in."

"Always the best looking one in the room. *Restroom **Restroom stall whatever"

"i appreciate the song ""the boys are back in town"" because it answers the age-old question: are the boys back in town y/n?"

"Did you hear ISIS is in Italy now? Italian ISIS... I'll show myself out."

"Beats by Dre is such a huge success that I think he should start a sunglasses line. 50 Shades of Dre."