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Joke of the Day

"Apparently 1 in 5 of us live next to a paedophile.. Not me though, I live next to a gorgeous 8 year old."

"What do you call a Spanish matador who is not very good at his job? I'd say he's fairly incapa**bull**."

"Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded."

"[priest bends over my coffin seductively revealing a thong to the entire funeral]"

"I was armed to the teeth. Now most of my teeth are gone. Let's just say I filed an assault case."

"What do you call a fusion between Batman and Superman? The krypton-knight."

"Why was Kanye's Christmas gift to Kim spoiled? Because he's a bad wrapper"

"Know the best part about dead baby jokes? They never get old..."

"Whats 10 inches? What's 10 inches, has a big red head and makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage"

"Her: I'm pregnant Me: WHAT? H: Just kidding M: You scared me half to death H: My mom is coming to stay with us M: *the other half dies*"