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Joke of the Day

"[priest bends over my coffin seductively revealing a thong to the entire funeral]"

"Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow-blower was coming."

"Why should you never bully a dyslexic dwarf? Because it's not big and it's not clever!"

"Alan from Facebook is concerned about ""boarder"" control and thinks they should ""learn our langage"""

"What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue? [OC] Icy dead people!"

"I like how my autocorrect changes ""hun"" to ""Hun,"" like I'm playfully referring to my girlfriends as barbarous 4th-century European nomads."

"Why don't arabs play monopoly with jews? Because jews constantly buy property over the arabs' already bought property"

"Which is more stable, a hamburger or a steak? Hamburger, it's in the ground state."

"Step 1: Pick a movie title Step 2: Add ""in my pants"". Some friends and i have had hours of fun with this."

"I was very disappointed to have to pay for my new roof. The builder had promised me it would be on the house."