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Joke of the Day

"""woof woof"" -my neighbor's dog telling me his views on abortion lol nigga idk if i can agree on this one"

"Learning-disabled lions are called leotards, right? Anyway, when dancers ask you to drop off old ones for needy kids, DON'T! So much blood."

"Which band does rockclimbers listen to ? Rolling Stones"

"I like my coffee how I like my women Forgotten about in the kitchen"

"A DJ that's a cat! So cute! But you know what's not cute? *clicks to next slide* Our reliance on rapidly depleting fossil fuels."

"Why don't you make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? She's probably thick and tired of it."

"okay, so you're definitely the best at keeping your body completely still, what do you want, atrophy?"

"She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard.."

"Twilight is the literary World War I: you thought this was as bad as it could get, but then WWII/Fifty Shades happened."

"Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane"