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Joke of the Day

"China are probably making all the medals anyway."

"""FOUR MORE EARS! FOUR MORE EARS! FOUR MORE EARS!"" --Me eating an insane amount of corn"

"So I was eating my grandma out yesterday... When I tongued the familiar taste of horse semen, which is when I realized how my grandma died."

"What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall He breaks his nose"

"I know a chess grandmaster, but I've only ever played checkers with him Because I know he'll only lose to a check mate"

"Change is inevitable Except when it comes to vending machines."

"Guess a movie funded by reddit featuring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.???? Shaving Pao's Privates. ;)"

"Oxygen and magnesium went on a date... OMg!"

"Doctor says: ""No sex for 6 weeks after birth."" Me: Why? Did her vagina see its shadow? Doctor: Me: Doctor: Please tell me you're not the father."

"I'd settle for separation of church and snakes."