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Joke of the Day

"*beats dead horse* *kills two birds with 1 stone* *lets cat out of bag* *takes bull by horns* *breaks camels back* *gets kicked out of zoo*"

"You can catch a lot of flies with honey, but you can catch more honeys by being fly."

"Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat? Because it was clothed."

"What did the Doe say when she walked out of the bushes? I'll never do that for two bucks again."

"GOD: I call them Water Buffalo ANGEL: But they live on land GOD: Yep ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: u really dont care anymore do u GOD: Not a bit"

"Joseph and Mary are having a romp in the hay. Mary says, ""what if I get pregnant, what will I tell them?"" Joseph replies, ""you will think of something."""

"Why are so many men suddenly curious who my father is right in the middle of our lovemaking?"

"My Dad always said never use any shortcuts. Probably why it takes him so fucking long to do anything on the computer"

"Don't leave me alone. Alone: I have a boyfriend."

"I skipped leg day at the gym, but don't worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I'm good to go."