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Joke of the Day

"When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes."

"[NSFW] I know one woman who prefers uncut cocks... And that would be my mother, obviously."

"I asked the manager if I could sample the sausage and that's when I was asked to leave Costco. THE SAUSAGE Not YOUR sausage"

"How many times do I have to refresh internet pages before I'm happy?"

"Where do you bury a donkey? In an asshole!"

"Why did the arsonist go to the gym? To burn some calories."

"""are you sure these x-rays are safe?"" [doctor 12 feet away behind a lead wall] you're fine"

"""What's your name?"" ""Who's your daddy?"" ""Is he rich like me?"" These ""reset your password"" questions are getting kind of weird."

"a dude sitting next to me in the ER asked how to spell ankle & then correctly identified Rush Hour by a scene without jchan or chris tucker"

"Probably not a coincidence that Taylor Swift just spent $17M on a mansion only two states away from me."