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Joke of the Day

"If cloning ever becomes real, I want 3 triceratops. I even already have names for them. Oneceratops, Twoceratops, and Jeff."

"What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ? Sleep in the wardrobe !"

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"[couples therapy] HER: His obsession with Star Wars is tearing us apart ME: *covering my Yoda doll's ears* Hear you he can, Karen"

"What do you call an angry German? Sauerkraut."

"CASHIER: [over PA] produce manager to the front pleas- *scuffle noises* ME: IF YOU SELL LETTUCE HEADS WHERE get off me WHERE ARE THE BODIES?"

"I tried to change my password to Twilight. But there was an error saying it contained too many useless characters."

"Why did Victoria get fired? I don't know"

"What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes? ""DANKE!"""

"Steve Irwin would have survived if he was wearing sun screen It protects against harmful rays"