205284

Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in five years. Come on folks, I'm not going to live that long."

"What's the opposite of Cristopher Walken... Cristopher reeve."

"What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device."

"Why is there only 50 shades of grey? Why not 5,000? What's stopping them?"

"I had a cough like that once... I didn't kick the bucket, I was just a little pail!"

"My brother is so immature he was a stillbirth"

"I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like ""Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"""

"What's a virgin's favorite Christmas song? ""Single Bells"""

"My brother and I replaced the tennis balls on Nana's walker with superballs and watching her bounce down the steps was a kodak moment."

"What's the difference between a Trump voter and a polar bear? One is a fat, white, mindless killing machine with no conscience or future, and the other is a bear."