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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like ""Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"""

"Considered having a one night stand last night just for the funny census results Then I remembered I'm unattractive"

"Why do ghosts never age? They use Bootox."

"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."

"How Does Moses make Tea? HEBREW it!"

"Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait."

"What do you call a girl hanging from a basketball rim? Annette"

"Played an organ for the first time today I really enjoyed it, but my patient didn't."

"One did one redditor say to the other? Heard it."

"What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird."