205183

Joke of the Day

"Potter household Voldemort: knock knock James: who's there? Voldemort: you know James: you know who? Voldemort: correct James: James: Fuck"

"There's a fine line... Between a numerator and a denominator."

"All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel so blessed...I don't have ugly children."

"My friend Richard is protesting against the unjust treatment of Gorillas Dick's out for Harambe."

"I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today... It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked."

"When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all ""Nice to meet you. Big fan""."

"Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment"

"I was bitten by a Hasidic Jew. The doctor in the E/R gave me Rabbi shots."

"""son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?"" ""dad, don't you mean Nam?"" ""sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"""

"Telling someone w/ depression things like 'Cheer up','Get over it','It's a state of mind', is like telling a blind person 'Just look harder'"