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Joke of the Day

"""Chill out."" - Spanish receptionist saying Jill isn't in."

"I'm never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken..."

"I just sat through two hours of Jersey Shore. Apparently the stupid I was born with wasn't stupid enough."

"Today, someone asked me if there's a possibility that I know anything about Medieval music. I said, ""not a Gregorian chants""."

"I like to tell the bad joke about condescending so I can overexplain it in simple terms."

"A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG."

"Go ahead, call the cops, lady. I got ten witnesses that'll say your baby kicked me first."

"I don't care what kinda lighter you have, its fair game if its unattended. Unless its engraved, then I'll give it back for Christmas."

"Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it."

"What's the difference between an flautist and a Porsche? Most members of the band haven't been in a Porsche."