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Joke of the Day

"Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth? Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound."

"What's the only difference between a prostitute and a bowling ball? I can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball"

"How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? Tell him he's a duck."

"I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone."

"strange love! Muhammad Ali said that he loved human beings but every time he beat the shit out of every human in the ring. I guess love finds many ways to express itself."

"How do you know it's time to clean up your room? When the wifi signal doesn't come through."

"Ah, I love self-deprecating humor. That's one more thing that won't love me back."

"Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger. He still has it."

"He asked what I like in bed so I was honest: 1. My dog 2. iPhone 3. Blankets fresh from the dryer 4. Take out"

"Epilepsy joke What is blue and does not fit? A dead epileptic."