20508

Joke of the Day

"Why did the vegan zombie visit the coma ward? Because it only ate vegetables."

"My friend, Manuel, is a magician... His favorite trick is to announce ""I'm going to disappear on the count of three."" He then counts ""Uno, dos..."" then vanishes without a tres."

"Q: When's the best time to take your doberman pinscher for a walk? - A: Anytime he wants to go."

"What did the lumberjack say to the trees? Run, Forest, run!"

"What does a subatomic duck say? Quark."

"Step 1: Walk on water. Step 2: Turn water into wine. Step 3: Prophet"

"I've just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead There was a lot of thinking outside of the box."

"G: Grandma (completely safe watch with grandma) PG: Partial Grandma (slightly awkward) PG13: 13 or more cusses (very awkward) R: NO grandmas"

"I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW] [www.9gag.com](http://9gag.com)"

"I hate Masseuses They're always talking behind my back"