205060

Joke of the Day

"Women are like boats I'd rather pay for the occasional ride than go through the hassle of having my own."

"I'll never get picked for jury duty because I'd be the one on trial....."

"""Ok, hear me out. What if we gave people enough for three fries?"" -guy who invented ketchup packets"

"He was a poor country boy. She was a rich city girl. They never met, due to geographic distance and rigid socioeconomic stratification."

"What's red and smells like green paint? Red paint"

"Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life? They haven't got anti-aliasing."

"I totally understand how batteries feel Because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"What does the middle and middle earth have in common They both have short hairy men that like to carry swords"

"A lot of times you put up a tweet and at first it doesn't seem like it's going to do very well and then BOOM: you make 1 million dollars"

"I like to stop at the UPS store late at night and leave little notes on their door letting them know I stopped by but they weren't open."