20504

Joke of the Day

"If I put on a latex glove and snap it, that's just me flirting"

"Kissing 101: 1. Open your mouth 2. Wider, that's it. 3. Stick out your tongue 4. Then walk towards her and pray she doesn't run away."

"Data's joke from Star Trek:TNG, please finish it: ""A monk a clone and a ferengi decided to go bowling together."""

"I want to give you guys my best dad joke... ...but I'm afraid you won't give it back."

"A friend of mine told me she worked as a prostitue for a while... I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by the fuzz. She hadn't, but she said she'd once been swung round by the tits."

"Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"I didn't know too many Jewish people growing up. I realize now that where I'm from they are in the menorah-ty"

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no"

"Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school"

"Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex."