204935

Joke of the Day

"Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy."

"I heard Venezuelan currency has inflated so much they are weighing it instead of counting it. Looks like they finally transitioned from bolivars to pounds."

"<job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a ""self-proclaimed man of few words."" Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no"

"If strippers are now called ""exotic dancers"" then drug dealers should be called ""exotic pharmacists""."

"What do you call a threesome? Q: What do you call a threesome with a man and two women? A: *Fucking awesome.* Q: What do you call a threesome with a woman and two men? A: *Gay sex with a witness.*"

"What do you call a man who worships his own scrotum? Sacrilegious."

"What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator. Sorry."

"What sort of shoes to ninjas wear? Sneakers."

"My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?"

"What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill? Tsunami Warning"