204911

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was upset when I brought home a vibrator... it rubbed her the wrong way."

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium"

""" I had a nightmare "" - Racist having the same dream as Martin Luther King Jr."

"don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy ""the player"" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller ""the game"""

"[Rappers job interview] Boss: What is your biggest weakness? Me: My rhyme game is weak. I can't speak. I'm a geek. Birds have feathers."

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence *edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*"

"What's the difference between a black guy and a pile of dog shit?? eventually the dog shit turns white and stops stinking."

"Today I saw two blind people fighting I shouted ""I'm supporting the one with the knife!"" They both run away."

"I spent the entire day hanging out at the swimming pool Until someone told me and I eventually tucked it back in."