2049

Joke of the Day

"Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours."

"What do you get when you cross a duck and a fire work? A firequacker"

"LPT Don't order the wrong thing for your wife at subway Oops wrong sub"

"Wife ""WHY ARE THERE MUDDY FOOTPRINTS ALL OVER THE HALL?"" [Me while trying to push a zebra up into the attic] Must be that damn dog again..."

"Van Gogh's best friend was his brother Theo He would often lend him an ear."

"[answering machine] ""Hi Mom, leave a message"""

"How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Feminists can't change anything."

"Does Canada even have a president? Or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers?"

"Toilets can be so full of shit sometimes."

"Wana hear a Canadian joke? Toronto maple leafs."