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Joke of the Day

"Ghosts... I didn't believe in ghosts until this one night, it was like 3 am, and I decided to start believing in ghosts."

"What's the difference between a Slut and a Bitch? A Slut sleeps with everyone A Bitch sleeps with everyone, except you."

"What did the hipster stoner call his marijuana pipe? Ira Glass"

"Why was Jesus not born in Australia? Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin."

"We'll all be making some serious Zellweger face on the toilet tomorrow."

"If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact."

"What sound does a bloated dead horse make when you beat it? If you're still waiting for a punchline, why are you here?"

"Noel, Noel. Noel, Noel. Born is the king of isrea."

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!"

"So I proposed to my girlfriend at a funeral today. She wasn't happy. Apparently I killed the mood."