2047

Joke of the Day

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates : 1. Nice shirt 2. Wow, a second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"I support legalized marijuana because if everyone else is stoned I can trick them out of money."

"What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature? Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post /r/waterpuns)"

"Mary had a little lamb. The event made medical history."

"There's no mirrors in this self checkout?!?"

"Fact: Your elbow is the most delicious part of the human body. Try it."

"I told my ex-boyfriend to masturbate so he could give me a fucking break once in a while."

"Dude that's not a tire swing its a warning to other tires that trespass in my yard"

"Not a single character in any horror or sci-fi film can possibly ever have watched even one horror or sci-fi film."

"My friend asked me what I thought about internet message boards. I said, I'm all forum."