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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.."

"Hospital... A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ""No change yet."""

"My name is Forrest! I constantly hear Forrest Gump jokes, ever since I can remember they've been the same ones, and I want to hear something original! Work your magic reddit!"

"No wonder Jared lost weight... He doesn't like footlongs."

"The word ""defenestration"" means ""to throw someone out a window."" Which means this happens so often we needed a word for it."

"What is a Jedi's Favorite Italian Dessert? Obi-Wan....Cannoli!"

"What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush."

"I'll never forget the first time Mum made some rock cakes. She passed then round and told me to take my pick. I didn't need a pick, I needed a hammer and chisel."

"Do people who swirl and sniff their wine in the glass know that it tastes just the same straight from the bottle? Amateurs."

"[NSFW] What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but can't eat it."