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Joke of the Day

"Read about a 60 yr old woman wanting to swim from Florida to Cuba & felt inspired & wanted to help so I emailed her a picture of a boat"

"I was casually swimming with a great white shark today. Until he bit my whole arm off."

"Stupid funny One time Back when I use to be an auto mechanic I drove around in an Italian car. The car kept telling me to add oil but I never did and one day the car exploded killing every body."

"How do you make black people break out into song? Put em' to work!... On a gospel record."

"What do you call a bunch of stereotypical Americans running? Nothing, it never happens."

"What do you call a magical dwarf? A midgetcian!"

"Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are to star in a new film, a murder mystery set at a music festival. It's a Whodunnit."

"My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio."

"Them: Hi. I'm happy to meet you. Me: Hi. I'm awkward and already trying to find a way out of this conversation."

"Just locked eyes with a four year old boy while I violently choked on a piece of popcorn. He didn't look away. He would have watched me die."