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Joke of the Day

"How is the iPhone 6 like /r/gonewild? They both give you tightness in the pants. I'll see myself out..."

"What's the different between a pilot and a pepperoni pizza? I give a shit when my pizza is burnt."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but when he unscrews the bulb, the lights go out and your xbox is gone."

"Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !"

"Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that's a cat"

"Humans are like ketchup on a steak People look at you funny when you eat them"

"Why did the police beat the black man after he was executed in the electric chair? He was resisting."

"What comes after fear but before sex? funf"

"I've never wanted a mansion. Not because I'm modest- I just don't need more places to lose my keys."