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Joke of the Day

"What is the first thing you feel when you shoot a baby with a gun? Recoil"

"Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top three buttons open then."

"I always keep two pennies in my pocket. Just in case I have to give someone my two cents."

"I'M RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE! Okay, I'm just frustrated with this copier, but I sighed pretty loud, so I think it knows how I feel!"

"I have a punchline with no joke. Help me out guys. Herpules and plaugasus..."

"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!"

"Please don't put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body."

"Jersey Shore just got cancelled. Clearly an act of God. Your move, atheists."

"*First date. Her. ""Shall we carve our names onto this tree"" Me. ""You brought a knife?"""

"What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns? Common sense."