190521

Joke of the Day

"What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars"

"Autocorrect will be the dress of me"

"I asked a guy what his favorite movie was earlier today. And it was not Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

"I pulled a girl in a nightclub last night. She said ""What the fuck are you doing"" and walked back out."

"Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any"

"BREAKING: Daniel on Facebook is worried about his account's privacy but Paul is all ""that shit's a hoax dude!"" More as this story develops."

"What am I? I have 4 eyes, hundreds of legs, and wings. What am I? A liar."

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."

"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? If it's a good day lipstick"