20432

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road? Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them"

"Bernie Sanders had a rally in Los Angeles last night attended by over 27,000 supporters. The rally set the world record for most Priuses in one parking lot."

"My face is so oily The US wants to invade it."

"Going Straight to Hell Q: How to Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday? A: They place flowers on the grave."

"Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow."

"Rape Jokes General I was raping a woman the other night and she said ""Please, think of my children!"" Kinky bitch."

"I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table."

"Me: Want some of my nachos? Coworker: I don't like nachos. Me: Hello 911, what's consider premeditated murder?"

"A guy just offered me 8 legs of Venison for 40. Does that sound too dear?"

"after a long day of respecting women I like 2 sit down and ponder how I'm goin 2 respect them the next day"