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Joke of the Day

"Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed."

"Yo mama so fat She couldn't fit in this joke."

"An unconvincing lie on a resume I good English speak."

"My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot."""

"My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece"

"What's 2 + Blink 182 46"

"Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly."

"I worry a $15 min wage will hurt the long-term viability of my small business where I sell expired milk to people I went to high school with"

"Reasons I Can Relate To Raccoons: 1) Dark circles around eyes. 2) Eats junk. 3) Small and chubby. 4) Stays up all night. 5) Cute but will fight you."

"Abortion... ...it brings out the kid in you."