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Joke of the Day
"Why does Popeye have the perfect dick? Because he's always dipping it in Olive Oyl."
Next Joke
"What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaains"
"What did the homeless guy eat after he dropped his hamburger? Ground beef"
"*works out for six weeks *loses 2 lbs *eats a carrot *gains it back"
"Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some."
"WTH! @ The audience that just sat and watched the first ever magician to saw a lady in half."
"Two guys on /r/Jokes walk into a bar One adds lines after the punchline, while the other doesn't. The one who never adds these extra lines kicks the one who does. Son of a b****!"
"What did the Vegetarian say when he wanted to eat meat? ""Going vegetarian was a missteak"""
"Q: Why does Father Time wear bandages? A: Because day breaks and night falls."
"I finally got around to getting a vasectomy the other day... but there hasn't been a vas deferens in my sex life since then."