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Joke of the Day

"When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available"

"Why were there only 3 thousand Mexicans at the Alamo They could only find three minivans"

"What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"I told my paralyzed girlfriend I was leaving her... She couldn't stand to see me go..."

"If school isn't the place to sleep, then home isn't the place to study."

"Currently stuck at an auction bidding for a house with a lengthy corridor. I'm in it for the long hall."

"I know a guy who owns an electrics and wiring company. He swears by employing only Germans and sending about a dozen of them to each contract.... He reckons that many Hans make lights work."

"So sad when gay kids get beat up for their brunch money."