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Joke of the Day

"Opposing counsel licks his thumb every time he turns a page in his file and basically I didn't even know this rage inside me existed."

"Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane? I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads.... CORNY JOKES THREAD! OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!"

"If Twitter icons have taught me anything it's that the male eye can spot cleavage at incredibly low resolutions."

"Q: Why is the banana the most popular fruit? A: Because of its appeal."

"I'm going through a phase of categorizing my life in phases. I call this one my 'phase' phase."

"If I had a dollar for ever time someone told me my generation sucks.... Maybe I could pay my student loans."

"I told a joke to my Jewish friends about kosher food, but they didn't like it at all... they said it was too ham-fisted."

"Before a long trip I drink allot of alcohol the night before. Dehydration will work for me for once."

"what is an pirates fav element potassium because pirate doesnt want scurvy. it not argon k?"

"[firetruck honks its obnoxiously loud horn] [goose in the distance hears it] ""Oh shit guys, that sounds like my wife. Gotta fly"""