204073

Joke of the Day

"You know what they say about people with big feet? They exert less ground pressure. Because their penis is so big it acts like a third leg."

"whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? ...one is a little lighter"

"But were you called ""dream wife"" on the internet today? Oh, you were. By the same guy? I see."

"Robber: If you ever want to see your family again do exactly as I say. Now hand me that bag! Me: *sets bag on fire*"

"A bird flew in my bathroom window when I was peeing.. We stared at each other's peckers."

"What does the Illuminati smell like? New World Odor"

"What do you get when you see Bill Cosby in double-vision? Raped."

"Why do women fake orgasms? I wish they'd just be honest. I've only faked an orgasm once, when I was being mugged..... That scared him off."

"Why don't any pirates live in Kansas? Because they all live in *Ar*kansas."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years.... I don't have 2020 vision."