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Joke of the Day

"My maths teacher told me to draw a square. Instead I drew a circle. He said ""That's terrible, go and stand in the corner!"" I said ""where's that?"" *- Tim Vine*"

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"Anyone know any good HP Lovecraft jokes? I only know a few Old Ones."
"What do you say to someone with a bladder problem? Urine trouble."
"What do you throw to a drowning banjo player? His mandolin."
"Chewbacca started a website that exposed all the secrets of the Empire, it's called Wookieeleaks."
"Whats the worst part about sex with children? Cleaning the blood out of the clown costume when you are finished."
"Me: I've invested heavily in hedgehog funds. You: I think you mean hedge funds. *opens door to roomful of hedgehogs* Me: Nope."
"My online therapist says you can't live your life in fear....He also sells shampoo."
"A dying man looks up into his wife's eyes and says, ""Honey, before I go I have something I need to tell you."" To which she replies, ""I already know, dear. That's why I poisoned you."""
"Why is the letter E like London? Because it is the capital of England."