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Joke of the Day

"I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said ""Meet my fiance, Beyonce"" and I was like ""That rhymes, you should rap!"" and we laughed and he sold me crack."

"I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator"

"*starts petting a random dog in the park when I see my ex dog walking past*"

"Heard a great black joke today. Have you guys heard the one about the honest hard working black guy? Me neither."

"Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? BMWs have the pricks on the inside!"

"Watching ""Wizard of Oz"". I'd forgotten how the neighbor wants to kill Toto and Auntie Em and Uncle Henry were fine with it. Family fun!"

"What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster? ""I'M BREADY TO DIE"""

"Whats the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period? you get your palm read for free"

"Good cop: WHAT ARE YOU DOING - HE WAS UNARMED Dog cop: *plants a vacuum cleaner on body*"

"Never date an Aztec woman.. They will rip your heart out."