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Joke of the Day
"My father trusted no one. Even had a saying about it. But he wouldn't tell me."
Next Joke
"Hillary Clinton"
"My wife said that if anything ever happened to her, she'd want me to meet someone new. Apparently, getting stuck in traffic doesn't count as ""anything""."
"What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down. Use lube."
"When I think of a good tweet in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late."
"I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman? A meanderthal."
"Some chump in an orange apron in B&Q just asked me if I wanted decking... Fortunately I got the first punch in."
"Q: What did the sink say to the water faucet? A: You're a real drip."
"Why cant stormtroopers be fathers? Because they shoot blank and always miss Edit: Can't*"
"I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future."